|City on a Hill - Writings for Refuge

This morning, the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "do you know what I look for in a man?" Then He took me to Lamentations 5.  He said, "brokenness." No one is innocently broken.  I cannot conjure up brokenness.  I can't put it on like a costume.  That is the opposite of true brokenness. Brokenness is simply seeing my actual state.   A huge portion of brokenness is simply seeing that all the consequences of living outside of this truth... This truth that I am nothing without God, are pain. Lamentations puts a fine point on it. +Selfish ambition flies in the face of my true state +Arrogance and pride fly in the face of my true state +Shame flies in the face of my true state +Striving, planning, self righteousness, "helping," discipling...  Embracing any of these on my own is to live a lie... completely separated from the true nature of my being, which is broken without God, and intentionally so. God designed man this way!  The fall of man was simpl...

My thought life determines my reality.  I get to chose the way I think about life. If I focus on what is hard…If I think too much about it… It will govern how I see the world.  If I think on what is lovely, beautiful, and of a good report, then goodness will govern how I see the world. This is very important for faith. Noah built an ark because he believed in something no one else could see: Hebrews 11:6-7 NKJV — But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith. This choice Noah made was in the midst of great hopelessness, selfishness, and fear.   Noah chose a hopeful direction because he spent time seeing the world God's way inst...

Worry and anxiety are rooted in uncertainty. My restless heart is naturally uncertain. This is the foundation of the sin in my life, because it is the basic argument in my heart for lawlessness: I should do things to solidify the future for "good." Sin is lawlessness, or self leadership. 1 John 3:4-6 NKJV — Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him. Sin begins at the emotional level where I feel stability and purpose depend on me. It ends in the physical actions I take to try to control the world around me instead of trust in God. Even in "serving God" I can be lawless. Matthew 7:22-23 NKJV — “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ “And then I will declare to...

God wants to grow my character MUCH more than my impact. The flesh thinks God needs us. The Spirit teaches us that God needs nothing. He wants us... Not to be impactful for Him, but impactful to Him... to be His. If I am truly God's, then my character must truly change. The main mistake humans that are trying to be helpful to God make is: trying to be helpful to God. L uke 10:38-42 NKJV — Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. “But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Much better to le...

The Kingdom of God is holy.  That means it is wholly unlike the way man runs things. God is love.    1 John 4:8 (NKJV) — 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. That means He is patient, kind, doesn’t parade himself… doesn’t demand His own way.   Prophetic revelation or an understanding of God’s plans for us TEST love.   They test whether or not I am truly interested in living in God’s ways, His Kingdom, or my own ways. Without love being the main aspect growing in my ministry, my ministry is growing bad fruit, not good fruit.   If the fruit is bad, the tree is bad.   If the tree is bad, it is cut off and thrown into the fire. Without love, there is no kingdom of God present.   Love covers a multitude of sin. To truly be a leader in God’s kingdom is to be a leader in patience and service, not impatient position.   Most will throw away their prophetic destiny for an unsatisfying bowl of soup because they cannot see ...

Heart-level agreement with God is what He wants: Psalm 51:5-7 NKJV — Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Practically, this means changing my behavior cannot make me clean in God's eyes. God making me clean will change my behavior, though. Because arrogance has taken root in mankind's thinking, when we hear what God wants, we actually approach the execution of God's requirements backwards! Romans 7:15 NKJV — For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. Knowing what God wants provokes man's arrogant flesh to try to be God, Instead of humbling myself and seeing I NEED God. This is the natural reaction to the awareness of the life God wants to give me, until it isn't. The g...