God Wants My Heart, Not My Help

There is a brokenness in my flesh that tends to try to be God instead of let God be God to me.

"Wanting what God wants" doesn't make me loyal to God.  Even Satan wants what God wants:

Isaiah 14:12-15 NLT — “How you are fallen from heaven,

O shining star, son of the morning!

You have been thrown down to the earth,

you who destroyed the nations of the world. For you said to yourself,

‘I will ascend to heaven and set my throne above God’s stars.

I will preside on the mountain of the gods

far away in the north. I will climb to the highest heavens

and be like the Most High.’ Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead,

down to its lowest depths.

Satan led Adam and Eve into this same delusion.  I must be honest that this wrong thinking operates in my soul. God made Adam and Eve children of the most high, but they wanted to be like the most high.

Over and over, God gave His people everything they needed to worship Him, and over and over they took what God gave and turned it into idolatry by trying to change their world instead of give it to God.

Ezekiel 16:15-22 NLT — “But you thought your fame and beauty were your own. So you gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking. You used the lovely things I gave you to make shrines for idols, where you played the prostitute. Unbelievable! How could such a thing ever happen? You took the very jewels and gold and silver ornaments I had given you and made statues of men and worshiped them. This is adultery against me! You used the beautifully embroidered clothes I gave you to dress your idols. Then you used my special oil and my incense to worship them. Imagine it! You set before them as a sacrifice the choice flour, olive oil, and honey I had given you, says the Sovereign LORD. “Then you took your sons and daughters—the children you had borne to me—and sacrificed them to your gods. Was your prostitution not enough? Must you also slaughter my children by sacrificing them to idols? In all your years of adultery and detestable sin, you have not once remembered the days long ago when you lay naked in a field, kicking about in your own blood.

I can relate to this.  It's easy to look at ancient Israel and see their failure, but can I see my own flesh?

Over and over God gives me everything I need to worship Him... Breath, food, understanding, His word, challenges, opportunity, gifting, anointing... If I make it all about "winning the world" and never about just drawing near to Him, I am no different than anyone else who has tried to be God instead of give themselves to God.

*What if the revelation God gives me isn't primarily so I could tell everyone else about God, but so I could draw near to Him?  

*What if every opportunity wasn't to be taken, but to be held before Him like an offering? Yeshua DIDN'T turn the stones into bread just because He could!

*What if the breath in my lungs wasn't to lead worship, but to simply worship and THAT was the leadership God was looking for... Internal, not external, worship?

Like ancient Israel, God found me with nothing.  He didn't give me everything so I could go win the world in His name.  Whatever He has given is primarily so I can be His.  I am beauty in His sight. He wants me to agree that giving myself to Him is the first required step in being part of what He is doing!

Matthew 16:21-27 NLT — From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, and that he would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day he would be raised from the dead. But Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. “Heaven forbid, Lord,” he said. “This will never happen to you!” Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds.

Jesus wasn't correcting His disciples about houses, cars and careers... He was correcting them about ministry!  Peter was saying the cross was no effective way for Jesus to fulfill His ministry.  Jesus said, "get behind me Satan."

When David brought the ark into Jerusalem, it took him two tries.  One he did his way and God judged it as evil.  The next time David did it God's way.  The first time, David worked hard and did what he felt was best and quickest... Most expedient for "ministry to God."  God strongly disagreed.

The second time, David put the Levites in charge and did what God had already said to do.

1 Chronicles 13:6-12 NLT — Then David and all Israel went to Baalah of Judah (also called Kiriath-jearim) to bring back the Ark of God, which bears the name of the LORD who is enthroned between the cherubim. They placed the Ark of God on a new cart and brought it from Abinadab’s house. Uzzah and Ahio were guiding the cart. David and all Israel were celebrating before God with all their might, singing songs and playing all kinds of musical instruments—lyres, harps, tambourines, cymbals, and trumpets. But when they arrived at the threshing floor of Nacon, the oxen stumbled, and Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the Ark. Then the LORD’s anger was aroused against Uzzah, and he struck him dead because he had laid his hand on the Ark. So Uzzah died there in the presence of God. David was angry because the LORD’s anger had burst out against Uzzah. He named that place Perez-uzzah (which means “to burst out against Uzzah”), as it is still called today. David was now afraid of God, and he asked, “How can I ever bring the Ark of God back into my care?”

God didn't need David to bring the Ark in before the Lord. God wanted to bring David before Himself.  When David finally humbled himself into this truth, all of Israel was blessed!

1 Chronicles 15:12-16 NLT — He said to them, “You are the leaders of the Levite families. You must purify yourselves and all your fellow Levites, so you can bring the Ark of the LORD, the God of Israel, to the place I have prepared for it. Because you Levites did not carry the Ark the first time, the anger of the LORD our God burst out against us. We failed to ask God how to move it properly.” So the priests and the Levites purified themselves in order to bring the Ark of the LORD, the God of Israel, to Jerusalem. Then the Levites carried the Ark of God on their shoulders with its carrying poles, just as the LORD had instructed Moses. David also ordered the Levite leaders to appoint a choir of Levites who were singers and musicians to sing joyful songs to the accompaniment of harps, lyres, and cymbals.

I want to use everything God has given me today to get as close to God as I can. Then, He will make me a witness of a person led by Him instead of a person trying to lead others to Him... trying to be God, instead of giving myself to Him. 

We have plenty of false witnesses operating in the world. True ones are quite rare.

1 Corinthians 9:25-27 NLT — All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.