Our Testimony 2022-2025

At the end of 2022, God asked Samantha and I to leave a life we had known for many years. We had a successful business, a paid-off house and no debt, a small nest egg, family, friends, connections, purpose, and identities that we had established for 30 years together.

We weren't ready to retire, but God was saying we needed to trust Him. (We haven't retired, just in case you are a client reading this :) )

It was hard to really even know where to start.  We didn't know where to start.

But, two years later, I can say, "God knew."

It isn't like I would have imagined.  I don't really know where/how it will end, but I know God is freeing me from lifelong fears about provision, control, and self-identity.  Sam and I are learning to trust God in a whole new way, and, to be honest, finding God to be more faithful, gentle, generous, and exciting than we knew.

This morning He asked me to testify about this. It's hard to talk about, honestly. It's hard to explain and feels kind of self-focused to try. But I know God wanted me to write it out and share it.

For the first year of traveling to Israel to pray, I spent a lot of mental energy thinking about what we were risking, leaving, letting fall apart... What this all cost... How dumb it must look, or how people might get the wrong impression we were selfish, rich, irresponsible, lazy... You name it.  I don't really understand exactly how God is leading us, and resisting the thought of "others" misunderstanding has been a wrestle. To go somewhere to pray is actually mentally taxing. I have to remind myself it's enough if God says its enough.  I like to "do." Praying gets weird when it starts being a thing you "do" instead of a conversation you have. Just talking to and listening to God seems so weak.  Praying can be done/defined in so many ways... It's usually misunderstood.

What I find over time is that God is showing me I didn't "leave" anything I needed.  Just the opposite... God is helping me walk into what everyone needs.

He is answering prayers I've prayed for decades that He would free me from fear about money.  If you have ever heard me preach/teach in the last 14 years, you would know this is kind of my biggest mountain: learning that God is truly Jehovah Jireh.  I naturally strive in this area.

We all have to learn who God is... To trust He is who He says He is.  He IS Jehovah Rapha. He IS Jehovah Nissi. He IS El Roi.  He is God whether I know it or not. He IS Jehovah Jireh, whether I walk in that, or not.

Over that last few months I am starting to distill what some of this means... I am learning to see clearly how much I needed to change.  I didn't leave anything I needed, I am walking into what I needed, which is freedom. Spending large amounts of time away from home and in Jerusalem isn't what Sam and I wanted, it's what God wanted. But, we are finding that it is right for us... Not getting what we want, but getting His heart. We both needed to see how much we were controlling our lives.  

Lots of people run away to places like Israel to escape something or be something.  That is not the case for us. We were really controlling a lot of our reality that we couldn't see.  We thought we were "all in" until we went in a little more!

Jerusalem isn't the answer. Jerusalem is just a place.  God's leadership is the answer. It's supposed to be what makes Jerusalem unique.  Without God's leadership, nothing matters.

Wherever God takes us, the fact He is leading is what we need and what He wants. He led us here for us, not for Him. He's good either way. God needs nothing from me. He wants my faith that results in yielding to His ways... But that helps me, it doesn't hurt me.

We have been humbled... We have learned there was a great deal we didn't understand about ourselves, our kids, people, Israel, Palestinians, Christianity, Judiasm, Isalm... Life, to be honest.

This isn't how WE would choose to learn these lessons, but getting out of our ways IS the lesson! Our way is our way. His way is life... No matter where it leads.

Mark 10:17-31 NLT — As Jesus was starting out on his way to Jerusalem, a man came running up to him, knelt down, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked. “Only God is truly good. But to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.’” “Teacher,” the man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.” Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God!” This amazed them. But Jesus said again, “Dear children, it is very hard to enter the Kingdom of God. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked. Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.” Then Peter began to speak up. “We’ve given up everything to follow you,” he said. “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.”

If the young man who asked Jesus how to inherit eternal life would have just taken that first step, Jesus would have shown Him the next step, and the next, and the next... A couple of years later, I am sure he would have had a testimony that he didn't really lose anything, and what he had gained could only be gained in the loss of what he was afraid of letting go!  Letting go is different than losing.

Seeking first the kingdom is the One Thing we all need to have "all the rest added." (Matthew 6) 

I've known this for a long time, I've only recently started doing it in a way that makes me different than the world around me, and more importantly, different than Jesus found me.

People define success for a few decades. God defines success for eternity.  I am learning to give more of my life to Him.  I am starting to believe if I give Him everything, He will give me everything.

I'm not where I'd like to be, but I'm also not where I was. I'm somewhere in between.  I've come too far to turn back, but not so far to be sure it's all ok.  I've just got this space of faith to live in... And honestly, that is what God always wanted for us. Faith. It pleases Him.

Hebrews 11:6-9 NLT — And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by faith. It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise.